Leading from Behind the Screen

Breakfast Potatoes, Biscuits, and the Power of Building Real Working Relationships

I was ready for breakfast potatoes and biscuits.

That was the only plan.

My husband and I were at one of our favorite weekend breakfast spots — the kind of place where you linger, drink too much coffee, and feel blissfully disconnected from work. As we are getting out of the car another family is walking to their car and my husband casually says, “Oh there is Bob.” He and Bob and worked together like 20 years ago at the same company and were still working in the same “circles.”

I’m busy thinking about coffee and then it hit me.

“MY Bob?” [his name is not Bob]

The Bob.

The CEO I supported. The one whose calendar I ran, whose travel I booked, whose meetings I orchestrated, whose expenses I managed. The man I spoke with regularly and worked alongside closely — but had never once met in person.

Just… virtually.

Will and Bob start catching up, and then Bob’s eyes land on me. I watch the realization dawn on his face - the same ‘wait, WHAT?’ moment I just had.

‘HIIIIIIII!’ I say, giving him a big hug.

Knowing Someone Through the Work

I supported Bob during a leadership transition — founder to private equity, old guard to new. Our relationship lived mostly in calendars, emails, phone calls, and logistics. We had spoken directly only a handful of times.

And yet — I knew him.

I knew how he liked his days structured.
I knew when back-to-back meetings drained him.
I knew which travel days were too aggressive.
I knew when to protect his time and when to push.

And beyond the mechanics of the job, I knew the context of his life.

I knew where his daughters were going to school.
I knew what they were studying and working on.
I knew which dinners were sacred and which trips mattered because they aligned with life, not just work.

This is what happens when you build a relationship instead of just “doing tasks.”

You learn the person — not just the role.

No Longer Behind the Screen

“Bob turns to his family. ‘This is Caroline,’ he said, smiling. ‘She’s my EA.’”

Their faces flickered — polite, curious, mildly confused.

“We’ve never met,” he says.

He laughed and explained that I had “been there before them,” that I worked completely remotely, and that even though we had never seen each other face-to-face, I was the one keeping his world spinning.

It was a small moment, but a meaningful one.

Because so much of what we do in support roles is invisible. When things work, no one notices. And suddenly, there I was — no longer invisible — standing in a breakfast restaurant, meeting the family I had been scheduling around for months.

Putting faces to names.

And realizing just how real a “virtual” relationship can be.

Why These Relationships Matter — Especially Now

A lot of leaders still believe relationships can only be built in person.

And yes, in-person time has value. It can be energizing and connective.

But presence isn’t the same thing as proximity.

Strong working relationships are built when you actually care about someone’s success and show up consistently for them - whether that’s in person or through a screen.

Those things don’t require sharing an office.

In a hybrid or remote world, the ability to intentionally build relationships — through communication, anticipation, and follow-through — is not optional. It’s essential.

Whether you support one executive or collaborate closely with one, the work is better when the relationship is strong.

A Quiet Skill Worth Valuing

As a self-described Chief Introvert, this way of working actually suits me. Virtual relationships allow for thoughtfulness. Listening. Less performative small talk and more meaningful connection.

Just this morning, I helped a direct report of an executive I don’t even formally support. My response was instinctive: Of course. Happy to help.

Their reply?

“You are the bees knees.”

That didn’t come from being in the same room.

It came from trust built over time.

Not Strangers — Just New in the Same Room

That breakfast didn’t change my working relationship with Bob.

But it clarified something important.

We weren’t strangers meeting for the first time.

We were people whose work lives had already been deeply intertwined — finally colliding over coffee and biscuits.

Modern work has changed how relationships are built, but not why they matter.

Sometimes the strongest professional relationships are formed quietly, virtually, and without ever planning to meet at all.

And then there are the times you just go out for breakfast potatoes… and unexpectedly run into someone who reminds you why building real relationships at work matters so much.

What’s the most meaningful professional relationship you’ve built virtually? Tell me about someone you ‘knew’ long before you ever met them in person - or maybe someone you work closely with but have never met at all. I’d love to hear how those connections formed!