Then I got an Instagram message.

Enter my friend Mark.

“Love this.”

He was one of the people I’d hoped would see my video, so I told him that.

His reply: “I loved it! I like to think this all started when you were saving my a** (organizing, getting things done, etc.)… ohhh, about 10th grade.”

I cried.

Mark was class president for all the years I was class secretary. He wrote funny skits for pep rallies, threw amazing Halloween parties at his parents’ house (hayrides in their field and scary movies), and was always going from class to class with loose homework papers, a story in hand, and a pencil that was about 1.5 inches long. He was also always pushing riiight up against any student government deadline we had.

Here we are on stage for something—I think this photo sums up both of us in high school.

Enter adulthood.

Mark is an accomplished author who has published nine books, and I am so damn proud of him. I get all choked up thinking about the life he and his wife, Denise (who also went to our high school), have built together. And Mark’s books? They’re like flashbacks. I see a little of him, and a little of the people we grew up with, in every one of them.

The congratulations I got from Mark was validation I didn’t know I needed—just like my founder’s story wasn’t one I realized I needed to tell.

We’ve both grown into the people we were always meant to be.

The real truth is: Mark (and Denise!) knew and saw me before I did. And I am forever grateful—then and now.

And here’s what I’m realizing: Executive assistants spend our entire careers making sure other people shine. (I was just talking about this on LinkedIn last week—how we get front-row seats to watch our execs crush it.) We organize the chaos. We save the day. We make everyone else look good.

And somewhere along the way, we forget that we’re not just supporting characters in someone else’s story.

We have our own damn stories. Our own wins. Our own moments that deserve to be celebrated.

So here’s my question for you: Who knew you before you did? And what have you been doing all along that you’ve convinced yourself is “just your job”—when really, it’s your superpower?

Update: I sent this to Mark before posting. His response? He remembers me cleaning out his ‘pigpen of a desk’ in 3rd grade. THIRD GRADE, you guys. Sometimes who we are shows up way earlier than we realize.

I was ready for breakfast potatoes and biscuits.

That was the only plan.

My husband and I were at one of our favorite weekend breakfast spots — the kind of place where you linger, drink too much coffee, and feel blissfully disconnected from work. As we are getting out of the car another family is walking to their car and my husband casually says, “Oh there is Bob.” He and Bob and worked together like 20 years ago at the same company and were still working in the same “circles.”

I’m busy thinking about coffee and then it hit me.

“MY Bob?” [his name is not Bob]

The Bob.

The CEO I supported. The one whose calendar I ran, whose travel I booked, whose meetings I orchestrated, whose expenses I managed. The man I spoke with regularly and worked alongside closely — but had never once met in person.

Just… virtually.

Will and Bob start catching up, and then Bob’s eyes land on me. I watch the realization dawn on his face - the same ‘wait, WHAT?’ moment I just had.

‘HIIIIIIII!’ I say, giving him a big hug.

Knowing Someone Through the Work

I supported Bob during a leadership transition — founder to private equity, old guard to new. Our relationship lived mostly in calendars, emails, phone calls, and logistics. We had spoken directly only a handful of times.

And yet — I knew him.

I knew how he liked his days structured.
I knew when back-to-back meetings drained him.
I knew which travel days were too aggressive.
I knew when to protect his time and when to push.

And beyond the mechanics of the job, I knew the context of his life.

I knew where his daughters were going to school.
I knew what they were studying and working on.
I knew which dinners were sacred and which trips mattered because they aligned with life, not just work.

This is what happens when you build a relationship instead of just “doing tasks.”

You learn the person — not just the role.

No Longer Behind the Screen

“Bob turns to his family. ‘This is Caroline,’ he said, smiling. ‘She’s my EA.’”

Their faces flickered — polite, curious, mildly confused.

“We’ve never met,” he says.

He laughed and explained that I had “been there before them,” that I worked completely remotely, and that even though we had never seen each other face-to-face, I was the one keeping his world spinning.

It was a small moment, but a meaningful one.

Because so much of what we do in support roles is invisible. When things work, no one notices. And suddenly, there I was — no longer invisible — standing in a breakfast restaurant, meeting the family I had been scheduling around for months.

Putting faces to names.

And realizing just how real a “virtual” relationship can be.

Why These Relationships Matter — Especially Now

A lot of leaders still believe relationships can only be built in person.

And yes, in-person time has value. It can be energizing and connective.

But presence isn’t the same thing as proximity.

Strong working relationships are built when you actually care about someone’s success and show up consistently for them - whether that’s in person or through a screen.

Those things don’t require sharing an office.

In a hybrid or remote world, the ability to intentionally build relationships — through communication, anticipation, and follow-through — is not optional. It’s essential.

Whether you support one executive or collaborate closely with one, the work is better when the relationship is strong.

A Quiet Skill Worth Valuing

As a self-described Chief Introvert, this way of working actually suits me. Virtual relationships allow for thoughtfulness. Listening. Less performative small talk and more meaningful connection.

Just this morning, I helped a direct report of an executive I don’t even formally support. My response was instinctive: Of course. Happy to help.

Their reply?

“You are the bees knees.”

That didn’t come from being in the same room.

It came from trust built over time.

Not Strangers — Just New in the Same Room

That breakfast didn’t change my working relationship with Bob.

But it clarified something important.

We weren’t strangers meeting for the first time.

We were people whose work lives had already been deeply intertwined — finally colliding over coffee and biscuits.

Modern work has changed how relationships are built, but not why they matter.

Sometimes the strongest professional relationships are formed quietly, virtually, and without ever planning to meet at all.

And then there are the times you just go out for breakfast potatoes… and unexpectedly run into someone who reminds you why building real relationships at work matters so much.

What’s the most meaningful professional relationship you’ve built virtually? Tell me about someone you ‘knew’ long before you ever met them in person - or maybe someone you work closely with but have never met at all. I’d love to hear how those connections formed!

You know that feeling when you finally do something that scares you?

I just recorded something that scared me: my full Founder’s Fire story - from that quiet 12-year-old class secretary to business owner. And I’m finally owning that yes, I really am a founder.

Here’s what I realized after recording this:

I spent years helping others shine from the background. Through my journey as an EA, I’ve transformed my role from background support to confident leadership - and realized I was leading all along.

But I can’t stop thinking about something: there are so many EAs out there who feel exactly like I used to feel.

You know what I wish someone had told me? That nervous feeling about speaking up in meetings? That’s not weakness - that’s thoughtful leadership. That instinct to perfect every detail? That’s not being ‘just’ an assistant - that’s executive-level thinking in action.

That’s the REAL reason I started this community.

Yes, I’m the founder of Virtual Admin Partner, but what I’m most passionate about building is this - a space where EAs can find EA friends and support each other as we navigate this role, whether you’re just finding your voice or you’re already leading confidently. Seeing those conversations unfold is one of my most favorite things (especially when there are lots of replies).

The VAP Slack Community is where the real magic happens - daily questions (hard-hitting ones like “Do you name your plants?” and fighting-word questions like “Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? 🥜”), instant advice, and celebrating wins together.

We don’t have to wait to start leading because we already are. Every detail you perfect, every crisis you handle, every time you anticipate what’s needed - that’s leadership in action.

This newsletter - Lead From Where You Are - is where I share the real stories. The leadership moments that happen from your couch, from your executive's calendar, from everywhere in between. Because leadership isn't just in meeting rooms. And every story ends with questions to get us all talking about how we're leading from where we are and how we can all get better together.

Ready to find your people?

Join our Slack community for daily connection, real-time support, and yes - very important debates about crunchy vs. smooth peanut butter 🥜

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Choose your own adventure - or do both! Because the best part about leading from where you are? You get to decide what that looks like. 😊

I never planned to spend my entire college career and first real job embedded in Clemson athletics. But looking back, those six years - from typing invoices in triplicate as a freshman to managing six different coaching staffs as a recent graduate - taught me everything I needed to know about leadership.

Not the kind of leadership they teach in business school. The kind you learn when you’re the person everyone depends on to keep things running, regardless of your title.

It Started with Invoices (and No Computers)

My first job at Clemson was in the accounting office, literally typing invoices for payment in triplicate. We barely had email in 1997 (boy did that change quickly); my computer screen for several programs was still the black screen with green writing.

I was 18, making minimum wage, and had no idea I was getting my first lesson in attention to detail and systems thinking. Every invoice had to be perfect - one mistake meant starting over completely. The white copy was for signature and approval, the yellow copy was for the files, and I have no idea what we did with the pink copy LOL.

But here’s what I was really learning: doing a little of this and a little of that is how I can function as an EA and also how my brain has always worked. One minute I was typing invoices, the next I was filing, then answering phones, then helping with whatever crisis walked through the door.

What I didn’t realize then was that every job at Clemson was building on the one before it.

The Beautiful Progression of Accidental Preparation

Understanding budgets and invoicing from the accounting office meant when I moved into the student worker role for Men’s Basketball, I could make things easy for the accounting department. I knew what they needed, how they needed it, and why it mattered.

Working at the ticket office gave me the ideas and skills to work in IPTAY with not-so-happy fans and people who were few members but just excited to be there. I learned how to read people, manage expectations, and turn frustrated customers into grateful ones.

And then the pièce de résistance - my first “REAL” EA job (aka Administrative Assistant IV).

Six Coaching Staffs, One Very Important Lesson

Suddenly I was supporting Baseball, Men’s and Women’s Soccer, Men’s and Women’s Swimming and Diving, and Men’s and Women’s Track and Field. Six different sports, six different head coaches, and about twelve assistant coaches - each with their own personality, communication style, and way of handling pressure.

The baseball office became my home base. I sat right outside the head coach’s office, with two assistant coaches stationed next to me. And let me tell you - they were completely different humans. One was quiet and reserved, the other was… well one was NOT like the other (in good ways!) Every single day, I had to read the room and adjust my approach accordingly.

The swimming coach needed complete quiet time for reviewing film and reading reports. Soccer coaches dealt with recruiting pressure differently than track coaches handled meet results. Each sport had its own rhythm, its own crisis points, its own way of celebrating wins and processing losses.

Here’s what I learned that changed everything: working with assistant coaches is exactly the same as working with direct reports - just different words and ways of thinking.

Assistant coaches have their own responsibilities, their own areas of expertise, their own relationships with players and recruits. But they still report up through the head coach, just like direct reports have their own projects but work through the executive. They need support, communication, and someone who understands both their individual needs AND how they fit into the bigger picture.

The Real Leadership Lesson

This wasn’t about managing tasks - it was about managing the personalities of very competitive people. And find me a founder or CEO who isn’t competitive!

I was learning to be the steady presence who helps navigate whatever comes next. I didn’t have a fancy title. I wasn’t making executive decisions. But I was absolutely leading from exactly where I was.

Looking back, I realize Clemson didn’t just give me six years of work experience - it gave me a masterclass in leadership without a title. Every invoice I typed, every frustrated fan I calmed, every coaching personality I learned to navigate was preparing me for a career supporting executives who needed exactly those skills.

The work may look different now, but the job is still the same: being the person others can count on to read the room, manage the personalities, and keep things moving forward.

You don’t need a corner office to lead. You just need to show up fully wherever you are.

PS - GO TIGERS!

Circa 2013.

I’m three years into my role supporting C-suite executives when the VP of Engineering drops a bombshell: “We’re transforming our entire engineering organization to agile framework. Can you help me interview every single person - all 65 of them - in less than two weeks?”

I’d never worked with this executive before, but something about how he explained the vision got me excited. This wasn’t just scheduling - this was being part of something big.

Then day one hit. First interview of the morning? Sick call.

“Oh ok, I’ll fix it,” I told him, diving straight into problem-solving mode.
But here’s what I didn’t anticipate: I was about to learn 65 names, navigate 65 different schedules, manage his executive calendar AND his single-dad life with two kids, all while an external consulting company breathed down our necks about deadlines.

Oh, and did I mention? These weren’t just routine check-ins. People were terrified their jobs might disappear.

So there I was - spreadsheet open, phone constantly buzzing, trying to be the calm voice for engineers who thought they might be getting fired while keeping everything moving for an executive I was desperate to impress.
I became a master of constant communication and meticulous record-keeping. I knew who was scheduled when, who missed, who needed rescheduling, and exactly how to handle each person’s anxiety with kid gloves.
The transformation? I went from supporting executives I already knew to becoming the full-time right hand to someone completely new. I fell in love with learning an entirely different team and department.

But here’s the real plot twist: That VP of Engineering? He’s now my husband.

The lesson that changed how I lead: You CAN handle the impossible. Good communication and record-keeping (whatever system works for YOU) will get you through anything. But more importantly? This is how we lead from behind the scenes. We understand the fears, the transformation, the priorities and goals - and we become the steady force that makes everything possible.

That’s why I created the “Mission Impossible” channel in my EA community. Because sometimes what feels impossible on Monday becomes your greatest success story by Friday.

This was my mission impossible - not recent but still makes me sweat! ! Can’t wait to hear yours!